So, as a new parent or parent to be, you have probably heard stories about parents trying to get their newborn to sleep through the night. You may have been asked by that friend or family member “Does s/he sleep through the night yet?” even though your baby is a newborn. Or perhaps you may be asked the age old question “Is s/he a good baby?”, somehow insinuating that a good baby is one that sleeps through the night and that your baby is somehow bad as they did not get that memo!
Sleeping through the night for a newborn is an old fable
Relax, it’s not you and it’s not your baby. Take the pressure of yourself from thinking that something is wrong with your newborn if they are not “sleeping through”. Your new baby is a newborn for twelve weeks and it is entirely normal for your baby not to be sleeping through the night for some time (not forever, we promise). As your baby gets older their sleep cycles will lengthen which will mean that your nights will be less disturbed. Evidence shows that it is normal for the majority of babies to have wakeful periods even up to the first year. Many mothers find that sleeping during the day helps them to cope with the sleep they miss at night. Some mothers use meditation or relaxation techniques during the day or just before they go to bed to help them feel more rested.
So why does my newborn wake up so much during the night?
When you comfort, feed and cuddle your baby at night, you are giving s/he the reassurance that helps them to feel loved, cared for and nurtured. Your baby is instinctively clever and their sleeping pattern is very different to yours. A newborn baby has a shorter cycle between deep and light sleep which enables them to be more wakeful to ensure that they get the right nutrition for their growing body. Your growing newborn needs regular feeding to also help grow their brain. When baby’s receive attentive night time parenting, they produce much fewer stress hormones which enables them to be more resilient in the future and less likely to suffer from anxiety and depression.
So what about a routine?
Surprisingly, your newborn baby will have a routine and that will be to be loved, cuddled, fed and changed. It’s just that this routine may not fit into your schedule in the early days! Many first time parents can find the lack of sleep in the beginning a shock to the system and there is a suggestion that pregnant women start to have interrupted nights during pregnancy as a way to prepare for this time. The good news is you cannot spoil a newborn by picking him/her up to soothe and settle them, no matter what people tell you. In fact, your newborn can sleep for on average 15 to 18 out of 24 hours.
What can I do to support myself during this time?
In those early weeks, many new parents help themselves get through the newborn period by using the support of their family and friends. Ask them to bring you meals when they come to visit you and your new baby (and to wash up afterwards!). Some parents prepare meals towards the end of pregnancy and stock them up in the freezer. If you haven’t already, try internet grocery shopping to take the pressure out of food shopping. Asking family members to help with laundry or housework can help you get some much needed rest during the day. Sleep when the baby sleeps is an oldie but a goody, if you find it difficult to sleep during the day start practising by trying power naps towards the end of pregnancy. Even if you can’t sleep, relax on the sofa and leave the washing up until later. Make the most of any down time you get!
