Carolina’s birth story
As the months passed during my pregnancy, I started thinking more and more about the type of birth that I wanted to welcome my baby into the world. Many girlfriends used the word traumatic to describe their birthing experience and I was sure there was another way to birth. Following a hypnobirthing course, myself and my partner learnt that remaining positive and joyous prior to labour and calm, relaxed surrendering to the body during labour, was the recipe for a perfect birth.
My NHS midwife and hospital appointments were very fine and the quality of care particularly the stenographers & doctors at the hospital was greatly appreciated. Being a 40 year old Mum to be, I was classified as high risk and was told it would be best to deliver in the labour ward rather than my preferred option of the birthing centre. I started to explore the option of having a doula present at my birth and through a discussions with a Doula, I was given the contact of Neighbourhood Midwives. After having a very positive and caring discussion with Tina, I felt calm and confident that I was now on the right track to planning my perfect birth. I had decided that I would have an independent midwife support me during my labour. Tina introduced me to Cheryl and Cheryl, my partner and myself started to discuss in detail our birth plan and how to approach labour. Cheryl and I were completing aligned that labour is a spiritual experience for the birthing mother and that if the mother tunes into her body and baby, the birth can be a very positive powerful experience. I wish I had of found Neighbourhood midwives at the start of my pregnancy rather than towards the end !
At 36 weeks I had a growth scan and Dr check up. Unfortunately there was high protein in my urine and I had consistent ‘high’ blood pressure. These two systems are considered to be indicators for pre-eclampisa and the hospital guidelines for this was admittance to the antenatal ward. During discussions with the Dr’s they thought I would be able to leave the hospital the next day, however over the weekend the conclusion given my age and symptoms was that dischargement was not a possibility and that induction at 37 weeks (in a few days) would be necessary. I had finished work the day before the scan and I was looking forward to having a few weeks of resting and shopping with my Mum to buy everything for my new little one…. Now I was being told that I would need to deliver my baby in a few days !
I was forced to stay in the hospital and have bed rest. The medication was working well to control my blood pressure and a repeat of the urine showed limited protein. Cheryl was able to put me in touch with one of the lead consultants at the hospital thanks to her contacts. The Consultant contacted me and shared that pre-eclampsia needed to be treated diligently, given that my blood pressure was controlled, we agreed to start the induction process at 38 weeks. Although the implication would be a medical start to labour and a labour ward birth, I felt good about the decision. Cheryl helped tremendously to gather all the facts from the right people and together we made the decision about induction and start date.
While resting in the hospital, fortunately I had my parents bringing in good food, I started daily meditation practises about a positive birth experience for myself and my baby. Baby listening was mandatory twice a day and I enjoyed listening to hearing my baby’s heartbeat. My partner was wonderful during this time, joining me every afternoon to go for a walk through the hospital and then resting together watching a lot of comedies on Netflix late in to the evening ! He also organised tea lights, natural oils and my meditation music to play whilst in labour, in addition to lovely bunches of flowers. The midwives and staff in the antenatal ward were very nurturing and caring and also very supportive of my decision to delay the start of the induction. The forced bed rest in hindsight was just what I needed as I started to deeply relax in preparation for my labour.
As my blood pressure was very stable, the lead sister on the antenatal unit allowed me to have a few hours away from the ward every few days. I used this ‘away’ time to have two labour inducing massages from my Ayurvedic therapist, a lovely dinner out with my partner (than included having a Nutella crepe for dessert) and a few hours at the hair salon !
With Cheryl, the Drs at the hospital and the midwives, we all agreed to start the induction at 38+2 weeks, which would be a Thursday. On the Saturday before, in the morning, the midwives picked up on the monitor that I was having quite regular contractions (I don’t recall feeling anything) so they asked me to rest as labour may have been starting ! The contractions did not continue, but I felt that my body was naturally getting ready for labour.
A few days before the induction date, one of the Drs checked my cervix and felt that it was starting to soften. I agreed to have a sweep by one of the midwives two days before the induction date. As I had been in the ward for nearly two weeks, I knew all the midwives on the ward very well, I was able to relax and remain calm during the sweep. I had another sweep the day before and again was able to feel very calm. Fortunately, I continued to remain in good health and becoming more and more ready for the birth of my baby.
The induction started on Thursday 25thJanuary 2018 with a pessary being inserted around 10.00am followed by baby listening. Around lunch time, I started to feel a pain, like period pain. My partner was with me and we decided to go for a walk around 1pm to the hospital cafeteria to have some lunch. The walk made me feel very tired and I was feeling a bit of discomfort. We went back to my hospital bed and I slept rather well for a few hours. Around 5-6pm, the midwife applied the monitors and it showed that I was having very regular contractions. She asked me if I was feeling anything, and all I could feel again was period pain. The pessary was taken out and one of the Drs was consulted, as there were some signs that my baby was under some distress. The decision was made to move to the labour ward, I walked there whilst my partner gathered all my things (including flowers) that I had accumulated. The time was now around 8pm, my parents had delivered dinner around 7.30pm via an Uber, which I was not able to eat, so dinner also came up to the labour ward. I notified Cheryl and she was on her way……
Up in the labour ward, I was being monitored again and I also felt like I was spiking a temperature. I tried to remain calm, as it was important that my baby’s heartbeat returned to being more stable. I was introduced to my hospital midwife Sylvia who was lovely, very calm and very discreet as she added monitoring equipment etc. The Dr and his team on the labour ward visited me and told me that I was being monitored and if my baby’s situation did not change, there may be a need for a caesarean. I tried to deeply relax and fortunately by baby’s situation became stable. At this stage Cheryl had arrived in the labour ward and I felt instantly calmer and happy knowing that I had an expert that I knew to support me through the next stages. In the room now was myself, Cheryl, Sylvia and my partner. By chance, my waters broke naturally! It was such a strange sensation, a small gush of water and I instantly felt that it must be my waters. My baby was on its way !!
Looking back, I can now see that I started having surges that I could recognise following the breaking of my waters. My partner prepared the labour room just as I wanted it, lights down low, the tea lights on, and he played my favourite mantra, it played on repeat during the entire labour. Cheryl had me sit on a birth ball with my arms stretched out over the bed and my head resting on a pillow. I took off my glasses and closed my eyes. She was across from me holding on to my hands which I squeezed each time I could feel the surge becoming more powerful. My partner was sitting behind me, massaging my lower back, shoulders, softly planting kisses when the surges became more intense. Cheryl kept talking to me through the surges, I knew that there would be a period of intensity and then the ‘pain’ would subside. Cheryl had me think about riding a wave and I was able to visualise the waves at my favourite beach in Sydney. I don’t know how long I sat on the birth ball clenching Cheryl’s hands. During this phase of labour, I did indeed spike a temperature, I was given paracetamol through a drip and Cheryl very kindly cooled me down with a fan and cloths. I was not concerned about the fever, knowing that my body often spikes fevers at times of stress. Silvia was doing her thing, monitoring me and my baby, not that I noticed much at all, I was focusing on my breath, deep breaths, breathing through the waves as they came. As I had not eaten dinner, Silvia organised some toast with marmalade and Cheryl very kindly fed little pieces of toast to me in between surges.
At one point, Cheryl asked me to go to the bathroom, and she had me in a position of a side lunge, one foot on the toilet and I breathed down, bending down as the surges came. I listened to her guidance and remained focused on visualising my favourite beach in Sydney and the beautiful waves. The surges were coming a bit more frequent now. We then returned to the birth ball position over the bed and the surges kept coming, Cheryl guiding me.
I was not aware of the time, at one point Cheryl told me that Sylvia wanted to conduct an internal examination to check the progress of my labour. It was close to midnight I think and I was only 3 or 4 cm dilated. I remember feeling some disappointment thinking I must have been further ahead than this. I said to Cheryl, I can’t do this for much longer! The surges continued to roll in, she suggested gas & air, but I decided to keep breathing…..I could hear my mantra playing in the background. Sylvia left for a break and we welcomed in Annette to the birthing space.
At some point, something shifted in my body and I started saying and feeling that I need to do a big poo. I even asked the midwife to insert a pessary to help me go to the toilet ! I then moved to sitting on the toilet, convinced I was going to do a big poo. The surges were coming more frequently and with deeper intensity. I had my eyes closed, thinking that with each surge I was closer to delivering my baby. During the intense part of the surges, I was gripping Cheryl’s thighs so tightly, inhaling & exhaling with ferocity, and then the surge would end…..When I could feel another strong surge start, I would call out to Cheryl, if she was not with me in the bathroom, having her there close to me felt reassuring that I could get through the surge, she knew what to do !
I really don’t know how long I was sitting on the loo, breathing in and exhaling out, but I do remember there was another shift and I suddenly wanted to lie on the bed on all fours ! The midwives helped me on to the bed, my eyes remaining closed. I could sense that there was some organisation happening and my partner whispered in my ear that the baby was coming soon……I didn’t believe him, however what felt like minutes later, I could hear that the head was out and then Annette asking me to breath quick short breaths and I tried to follow her instructions, moments later Cheryl was telling me that she would be delivering my baby into my arms…….The cord was short so it had to be cut before I could hold my son, and then there he was in my arms. Vittorio was born just after 1.30am in the morning, my labour had lasted around 5 hours without any pain relief ! With the help of Cheryl, Vittorio latched very well and all I could do was gaze at my son, trying to take in everything about this little boy I had carried for 9 months.
The next day, I had a visit from Cheryl and we discussed the birth of Vittorio. I asked her when did I actually start the ‘pushing’ phase, as to me the birth was just a series of surges, getting stronger and stronger, my breathing getting deeper and deeper.
The birth of my son Vittorio is one of the most powerful achievements of my life, I continue to smile and feel blessed that I had the birthing experience I had hoped for.